Me: "The election of the anti-Semite Malia Bouattia leaves students of Jewish descent, such as myself, feely very threatened on university campuses. You need to stop harming us!"
Left-wing student politico: "I didn't know you were Jewish."
"Jewish descent. I got my genome sequenced by 23andme, turns out I'm 0.1% Ashkenazi."
"Oh, come on. That really isn't very Jewish. You're just playing victimhood politics here."
"Oh, so you admit to anti-semitism, but it's okay because I'm not a proper Jew?"